She was already dressed and starting on her hair. She had made sure she picked out an outfit that went with her new boots and she could steal a necklace of mine she has always wanted to wear. . .
She had her classes divided into two separate binders one for before lunch one for after. She had plenty of newly sharpened pencils, a locker decorated in her style. She was set.
We did our first day of school picture and video interview. She was out the door all smiles with hint of nerves {mostly about the locker opening}. She was ready and pleading with me NOT to cry... I agreed even though deep inside I was crying I was reminiscing about her toddler years, her first day of preschool, her first day of kindergarten {she asked me not to cry that day too}. Her twinkling eyes as she smiles and how much she has grown and matured...but most of all how much time I DON'T have left to see her each and every day.
I felt broken, yet I put on my best Mommy face and smiled and said....I am just fine I won't cry I promise. Little does she know that inside I was a mess of broken heart little pieces, and still as I write this at the end of the night...I am crying just a little wishing I could get a few years back or even just a few moments just to cuddle her the way I used to read her a book while she is on my lap. She is my baby and always will be...even if she doesn't realize it :).
Jedi....
All week Jedi has been wandering around making not so silent wishes for school to NEVER come. He is entering 6th grade and has no desire to do so. I have a feeling it is because he struggled with his grades at the end of last year and he has never had such a hard time before.
But last night after Back to School Night {which we attended for a whole 5 minutes} He was getting a little bit excited. He realized he had a really cool haircut, really cool clothes and had friends in his class already.
He had decided maybe it wasn't so bad after all.
So this morning he got up very easily got his "cool" hair done picked out some "cool" clothes {after some guidance about not mixing plaids :) } Ate a healthy breakfast checked his lunch to make sure my bribe of a Lunchable for diving off the diving board was for sure in his lunchbox waiting for him. He sat on the couch just waiting for the time to leave, he was actually looking forward to this day to his surprise as much as to mine.
But as I looked at him all I seen was my little two year old with his Bob The Builder Goggles stuck to his head with the little red lines around his eyes because we couldn't even get them off for bed time.
I seen him in his moon boots in the spring running up and down the soccer field playing spider man while all his teammates wore tennis shoes and chased the ball {mortifying his dad to no end and making me giggle}.
I seen how much this little man has grown up right in front of my eyes. I remembered thinking we would never get here after his many many temper tantrums, his sleepless nights and days. Here I sat realizing I didn't want to be here..that even though I thought I would never want those moments back, I miss them....don't get me wrong not for every day...but if I could go back and just spend one day with that cuddly little boy who sang "can we fix it? YES we can" everywhere he went. Or when asked what a cat says rumbled his lips like a CATERPILLAR machine. Yep I would take a few of those hard days back with him.
Because today to see him go to 6th grade was very hard on my heart. What is it with these milestone Grades. I need my babies back.
B
B has always loved school she started school when she was 2. She attended preschool in my class. She new how to recognize her name and loved being in there to learn.
Her thirst for learning has never stopped. As soon as school ended for summer she was asking how many days until it started again. B has a zest for life a curiosity that will never be full. {yes this has gotten her hurt and into trouble multiple times in her life}.
This year brought a smile to my face as we went school shopping and she looked for matching outfits {why is this significant? because she is my little punky bruster}
She took time the night before to try and set out clothes and to her dismay we had forgotten to finish her schools shopping and she only had a couple of tops! OOPS. She settled for an outfit with a promise that we would finish after school.
She was quick to get into bed and fall asleep so that morning would be here sooner. She had her bag and clutterbox packed to the max and couldn't wait until she was able to use all of her new school supplies.
She even wanted her hair done! As she put on her cute clothes and posed for her Picture and quietly answered my interview questions I could see the impatience in her eyes she was READY to go.
I sat and looked at her remembering that she has always been this spunky. She always wanted things now and wanted to know how to get things done and wanted to try it herself.
She still looks like our little girl and wants to be. Something I am soooooo grateful for especially after mornings where my other two seem to be growing out of me just a little. I was so grateful for her petiteness, which makes her seem just a bit younger. Grateful that her baby years didn't seem so far away. I needed that little piece of heaven today. Something to keep my heart from falling from my chest, to keep the little sobs that tried to keep pressing up my throat as I helped each of them get ready and took their videos and pictures.
I was grateful for Heavenly Father giving me this little moment, to regain my composure and realize they are still here, growing yes but I still have time and I need to cherish it.
So in the end. . .
K.bug didn't realize how hard 7th grade was going to be....she will get the hang of it. "the teachers are all so different!"
Jedi really liked his teacher and class and is a bit worried about getting all his work done.
B of course she loved it and can't wait to go back tomorrow...Oh and we got her shopping done. PHEW!
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