Saying Sorry. . . .

I remember as a kid one of my fave commercials...I think it was a bounty paper towel commercial or something and the child said I'm sorry so sorry with those big blue teary eyes.
Saying your sorry is so hard sometimes.  But it is so important.
Saying I am sorry when I mess up or just to resolve tension has been very important to me for as long as I can remember.
I don't understand why it is so hard for people to say they are sorry?  It doesn't make sense to me.  When we goof up it is a way we learn.  When we hurt somebody it is a way we can mend our relationships.
Why am I rambling about this?  I don't know really this Blog has become my journal because well I suck at really writing in my journal.
I messed up the other day.  Our children have been fighting so much.  {yah I hear that is normal}  I grew up with one sibling a brother we are 4 years apart.  We were best buds we played together all of the time.  I didn't mind if he tagged along with me and my friends.  We just didn't fight or argue we really had a great time together.
I remember one time when I had gotten my life into a mess in high school when I had a boyfriend who really wasn't worth all the time and effort I put into "saving" him.  I was angry because my life wasn't what I had planned it I didn't plan on making all those bad decisions and I lashed out at my brother who was just trying to be funny.  I really hurt his feelings and to this day I apologize for it. He laughs and says " I know sis it's okay."  But I still hurt from hurting him...Right now I have that lump in my throat and tears in my eyes thinking I hurt him.
I have moments in my marriage I feel that same way that "I wish" I could take back that no amount of sorry will help me to feel okay about it.  But saying I am sorry took so much of the hurt and guilt away.  I am grateful that I can say I am sorry that I can help mend those bridges, and remove some of that hurt.  
I hurt my children's feelings ironically trying to teach them to be more kind to each other, but I wasn't kind in teaching I yelled and said not so nicely that they  should love each other more and not treat each other like dirt.  I chased the Spirit away as we were reading scriptures trying to invite it.
I thought all day how I could make it up to them....So I spent the day reading the Ensign then I wrote each one a personalized apology letter.
When they read them I knew that was what I needed to do to teach them kindness, forgiveness and admitting our faults.  It was what I needed to recheck myself.  I am grateful for forgiveness.  I am grateful for people who are strong enough to say sorry.  I need to hear it, everybody does, whether you write it or say it....just do it.